So, I apparently started a blog that seems to imply that I have something super spiritual to say. Something that, perhaps, indicates that I should at least read my bible before posting, pray a lot and then type something with deep meaning.
So I didn't post.
Finally read my bible yesterday but did not have some amazing breakthrough. Nothing that made me say "WOW" That's what I MUST blog about. Didn't happen.
So I didn't post.
Maybe this is because I am currently feeling stuck in a bit of rebelliousness. I feel like a toddler who fell down in the dirt, immediately ran back to God for a hug, but afterward ran right back into the dirt.
All this, when I know, that when I am right by his side and holding his hand, that THAT is where I want to be. So why do I keep finding myself in the dirt?!?!
Well, I have sat here for a few minutes trying to think of something fun and witty to type here, something that sort of eases the pain of the truth. But, if I'm honest, all the answers that I can currently think of aren't pretty.
Basically, I love my muddy, squish-between-the-toes, cover me in filth, smelly, quicksand sin better than I love my Savior. Even though he faced sin, directly battled the devil, and took my dirt with him to the cross, so I wouldn't have to battle it at all. He did that, so I wouldn't have to get muddy.
Just like a parent who yanks a knife out of their young child's hand, by gripping the blade, and cutting their own hand, to spare the child the pain.
So, here I am, in the mud, trying to say thank you, yet feeling a bit too dirty.
But he loves me anyway, and keeps washing my sin away.
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over......(infinite)
So, if you were wondering, I'm not Super-Spiritual Girl, not Super-Best Intentioned
Girl,or even Super-Thankful Girl.
nope. I'm just a muddy girl.