Wednesday, August 17, 2011

31 and Getting Older

It's my birthday today. Today I am 31 years old.

Yes, I admitted it, because age is just a number, and I never understood why it is supposed to be a big secret. I mean, maybe if I was single and interested in some 28 year old guy, but then again, I've always liked a more mature man, so obviously this situation is highly unlikely, besides the fact, that I am not single.

This has been a weird birthday for me. It's not the fact that I am out of my twenties, or the fact that I am over 1/3rd of the way through my entire life. It's not the fact that I have, or haven't accomplished my dreams, or the fact that I am older.

Age is just a number.

How many times have you heard that. Sounds cliche, right?

Well, My Great Grandma taught me something very important about age. She was 97 when she passed away. Actually, she was 96 1/2. But just like when you were 17 1/2 years old, and your Mom gave you a curfew, and you said, "But Mooaaammm (all long and whiny like a 4 year old), I'm practically 18." Well that's how it is, she was practically 97.

What she told me, a few years before she passed, is important. She said, "When I wake up, I feel 25. Then I try to move, and I realize I'm not."

I woke up today, and I felt 23.
Not 31, and not 25, because well, when I was 25, my son was practically 3, my daughter was 15 months and I was pregnant with twins. Although, that fact, I did not know yet. I did know I was pregnant and very, very sick.

So, I woke up today, and felt 23. Will I continue to feel this way, forever, and just have to watch my body break down around me. Like watching your carefully built citadel fall before your enemies, right in front of your eyes.

That your sinful, broken, earthly body will betray you, and you will be left in it, even when it doesn't work anymore.

Yes, that is just what is going to happen. Sort of sucks! Another thing my Great Grandma would say was, "It's hard to get old. You get to watch all your friends die."

Well, I'm 31, and I've already lost 1 friend, I have some pain in my hip, now what.....

Well, I have to choose to be young, regardless of how I feel. I'm going to laugh out loud in public, I'm going to try on sunglasses, and make turkey sounds when that silly tag hits my nose and bounces around regardless of who looks oddly at me. (True story, my Great Grandma, Grandma and I actually did this, in Target when I was about 12. Favorite Memory)

I'm going to kiss my husband, tickle my children, and really listen to my friends and NEVER forget, when I see an older lady, or gentleman, who is struggling with something, because their body is old, that, if I can help, to help, and not treat them as a child, or a weak person. But with respect, because on the inside, they feel the exact same as I do!

   More of the reflections, in 1 place

     They real website, of Tom Hussy.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Stranger in my Bed.

I woke up, the other day, rolled over and saw this bulk of a man in my bed. Now, this is not an odd occurrence. I am married, and the man is not a new one. In fact, it occurred to me as I stared at him, that I have been waking up next to him for almost 10 years.

10 Years.

When you are young, 10 years is the same as Never or Forever.

As soon as you can appreciate that you will drive a car, it will be 10 years before you can. That  will take  FOREVER

Once school becomes not-so-much fun. You have just 10 more years of it. So, you'll NEVER be done.

As a teen, you think things like, I'll never have kids, knowing that you really want some in, oh, like, 10 years.

Or, We'll be BEST friends FOREVER, but your life is taking you in different directions, and in 10 years, regardless of how hard you try, you barely ever see each other.

Or, I'll NEVER be 30.

There's just something very adult about saying anything and adding "for 10 years." To even say you've had the same job for 10 years, or the same house, bad habbit, car, or spouse. You have to be old. Not like super old, but usually, near 30.

Which was OLD, 10 years ago.

So, I look at my husband, and wonder, "Do I know him better than I did, 10 years ago?"

Sure I know more facts about him.

I know he really wants to own a Jeep,
I know he is a big football Fan,
I know he gets sick of  regular sandwiches, but never gets sick of sub sandwiches,
And I know he loves me and our kids.

But often, he gets this mystery look, and I can't figure out what he's thinking about. Or he tries to explain something, and I just can't understand what he is saying. Sometimes, we even agree, but our process was so very different that we begin to debate our reasons for agreeing.

It seems like the more I know about him, the more I want to know.

Maybe this is the desire that grows true love. That the ever-changing person God made us to be, builds up your love, because there is always something new to learn, understand, and desire.

(click Play)

His mind is a mystery that I will never unravel,
His determination is a force that I will never grasp,
His love is a gift, I will never fully see,
And our journey together is one I will never be able to plan.

This man in my bed is a stranger.

I wonder if I will feel that way FOREVER (you know, for the next 10 years.)

...A bit of info...
(The song posted above was sang at our wedding by an amazing couple that we love.)