Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Math of Parenting

Sometimes having practical mathematical knowledge isn't a good thing. Such as, it's hard to want to go for a walk when you know that a lone child will fall and get hurt around  25% of the time. And if you have 4 children, the odds of someone crying for part of the walk is, oh, 100%. Now add in the odds for someone falling in a puddle, say that happens around 10% of the time, but the odds of someone jumping into a puddle is more like 70%. That makes for an 80% chance that another child will be whining because they are cold and wet.
Now figure that children are hungry 95% of the time. (the only non-hungry 5% is only when food that has been served to them must be completely UN-eatable because it may taste healthy or different.) They are also thirsty another 99% of the time, so, unless you take time to pack bribe treats or water bottles, the return trip WILL be super pleasant, as it is being made by loud, starving children who are going to die. If you do choose to pack bride treats, the odds of someone taking off or loosing their shoes is 35%, a lost coat is around 20%, and children fighting while waiting is 60%. If you walk away from the snack packing to disband the fight, the odds that you will now forget something is 40%.
So, even though we live only 1/2  mile from the library, we only walk to the library about 25% of the time.  This 25% happens when Mommy amnesia has kicked in, and I actually think it will be different this time because my children are a whole 60 days older.
On this note, we now have the Uno game. I love Uno. Awesome game, simple, fun, teaches children colors and numbers.  But, when you play Uno with 4 children only 25% of them can can win, and 75% of them will loose. If 50% of your children freak out when they do not win, you have a 100% chance the game will end in screaming and crying.

Now I seem to have forgotten, but I thought playing games as a family is supposed to be fun????

Updated January 20,2011:
After receiving multiple  notes of encouragement, I wanted to add that I greatly enjoy playing games with my children. It's the endings I hate. But that is why we play right before bedtime. So I can just send them off to bed. :)