I am currently back in College and I'm finding that it makes you ponder who you are, and not in the "Should I study or get trashed tonight?" way, but rather, in a more reflective way. Teachers like to ask such questions as, "Why do you like this?" or "Why did you choose that?" They want you to think about the decisions you make, and thus, you begin to ask yourself "Why am I making the decisions I make."
Reflecting on what you do can take you down some difficult paths, and maybe make you ponder some things you haven't before. Answering "Why do I enjoy photography?" Isn't difficult, but answering, "What do I want to say with my photography?" or "Why is my photography important?" can be quite soul searching and honestly made me ponder if I was really making the right choose by going back to school. If I am only ordinary, then won't my photography be? Maybe I don't know how to make statements that effect people with my art. What if all I do is create images that nobody really cares about?
We are often asked these types of questions in high school, but I think they are asked so teens will go and seek the answers. So they will be inspired to search the world, and take all the possibility they have, and become something great. Then, as we continue to age, we quit being asked, and forget to ask them of ourselves. Then each day takes one a repetition with a life of it's own. So many tasks just so you can be ready to start the same tasks again tomorrow. It is so easy to forget that you once had a purpose, beyond making sure the laundry isn't overflowing, and there are clean dishes and food to be had for dinner.
God made us to be spirited, gifted and individual. We are to aim to be like Jesus, but each of us is to do so in a different way.
1 Corinthians 12:4-6 (NIV)
4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. 5 There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.
My daily work should not look like yours, and I should not compare them. God even claims my weakness, in fact he desire them.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
Who doesn't want the Power of Christ to work through them?? Fortunately I have plenty of weaknesses.
So, now what does a small town girl, with a passel of kids, do with all this purpose and all these questions. Do I take my family to Africa and photograph orphans, mayby.... but unlikely. I'm not really sure yet. I guess I will aim to just seek God's will, and be ready for wherever that may lead me, and pray he will ready me for whatever comes. I don't have time for much else.